My Summer of Rest

This is my summer of rest. Guilt-free… or at least, that’s the goal.

Every day I have to remind myself: it’s okay to do less. Even if I waste time. Even if the movie I watched was silly, or I scrolled too long, or skipped something that I planned. Even if I didn't do yoga. I made the choice. That’s ok.

Still, the pressure creeps in - do more, clean the house, write a blog post, be productive. Is rest allowed? Or am I just being lazy?

I think it’s in my bones. Generational. My mother never really rested. Even at 80 years old, doing Sudoku, she feels guilty that she should be doing something more productive.

I say "Mom, you are retired, grandkids are grown up, you don't have to do anything, when will you let yourself relax?". She doesn't know.

But I’m learning: I can just rest. Even if I don’t do it perfectly. I don't have to always be doing something productive.

I have to remind myself when I feel guilty - "No guilt, that's the deal, remember?"

I don't really know how to rest. Yet.

I'm so used to working, or studying, or taking care of something or someone. But life is changing. We are not empty nesters yet, but kids are in their late teens, and driving, so they don't need as much any more. I can't believe how much more free time I have now that I don't need to drive anyone anywhere.

Work is very good and very stable. I'm still passionate about learning, and I read a book or take a course when something inspiring comes up, but workaholism is not driving me anymore

Do you ever wonder what true rest feels like? On a cellular level? Nervous system rest? Full body rest? Not on a vacation or retreat, but in every day, at home, in small moments.

I’m still figuring it out.

P.S. My cat and dog HAVE figured it out. It's not the best picture, but that's what I have a deal with every day! No guilt there.