The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy in Calgary

"Love is not just a feeling; it's a skill that can be learned. It requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to grow together."Dr. John Gottman.

Gottman's method was my first introduction to Couples Therapy. I loved it then and I love it now. You got to love Dr. Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Gottman. Kind, caring, funny, intelligent, they've been working in the field of couples therapy for 40+ years and haven't lost their passion.

This is not the only tool in my toolbox. Over the years I've trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Bader-Pearson Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, Mindfulness based Somatic approaches to relationships, as well as Tantric and Sacred Sexuality approaches. And yet, I still love and use Gottman's method.

Why? It's extremely practical, very well researched, very easy to use and implement, and it gets people results they want.

"If you can accommodate each other's “crazy” side and handle it with caring, affection, and respect, your marriage can thrive." Dr. Gottman

So, what is The Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method is a research-based couples therapy approach developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Grounded in extensive empirical research spanning several decades, the method is focused on enhancing relationship satisfaction and promoting marital stability. It emphasizes the importance of understanding each partner's emotional needs and fostering effective communication.

One of the key components is the "Sound Relationship House" theory, which outlines the essential elements for a strong and lasting relationship. These include building love maps, sharing fondness and admiration, turning towards each other in times of need, managing conflict constructively, making life dreams come true, creating shared meaning, and establishing trust.

The method provides practical interventions and exercises designed to strengthen these aspects and improve overall relationship functioning.

John Gottman is famous for his ability to predict divorce with 94% accuracy after watching a couple have a conversation for just a few minutes.

The goals of the Gottman Method include:

• Increasing closeness and friendship

• Addressing conflict productively

• Building a life of shared meaning together

Gottman Method therapy aims to increase respect, affection, and closeness, break through and resolve conflict, generate greater understandings, and to keep conflict discussions calm.

How Rovena uses the Gottman Method to help you build a stronger relationship:

• We start with an comprehensive assessment and then create an individualized roadmap, or a plan that will help you create a fulfilling, supportive, beautiful relationship

• After this, you and your partner will fill out an online evaluation separately that will help identify the strengths and the weak points (or problem areas) of your relationship.

• Next, I may have one-on-one sessions with each partner as needed. This is an opportunity to discuss things with me alone, and will help to ensure I hear your concerns and intentions.

• Based on the results of the evaluation and our individual sessions, we co-create a plan on how to move forward.

• Using this plan, we will have sessions together. You’ll learn the tools and the skills you need to handle conflicts, develop deeper compassion and understanding, improve intimacy, and create a meaningful life together.

• The intention of the Gottman Method is to empower you with tools so, by the end of our work, you feel confident that you can discuss anything and find solutions together. You’ll be well on your way to becoming a Relationship Master (and not Relationship Disaster, as Dr. Gottman calls it)!

Results of the Gottman Method for couples

• Increased affection and closeness

• Increased appreciation and respect

• More fulfilling friendship and intimacy

• Greater understanding in your relationship

• Will help you build a life of shared meaning together

• Manage conflict in a positive way and overcome gridlock

• Build love maps and create rituals of connection

• Improved communication skills - everyone feels heard and understood

• Identify your relationship-specific strengths and how to build on them

• Create an emotional bank account that you can draw on in times of stress

• Help heal relationship injuries and resentments

• Stronger emotional intelligence

If you want to bring all of the above into your relationship, get in touch. If you have questions, please reach out as well. I’d be happy to talk to you and answer any questions you may have. Book your free consultation here.

Three short videos to learn more about Gottman Method:

The Easiest Way to Improve Your Relationship:

What is gottman method: 

Porcupine Sex and What Couples Can Learn From Them: