A Year of Dyads

In January 2021 I was inspired to start posting a weekly Dyad question on Facebook. If you know me, worked with me (in person or came to one of my events) or read my blog, then you know that Dyads are my favourite communication practice. I love it. I use it with friends, my partner, I teach it to all couples I work with, and I probably used them in one way or another in most of my events.

If you are not sure what a Dyad is, I wrote about it here.

A very brief summary: 2 partners (a dyad) - a speaking partner and a listening partner. We start with a question (any question). It's not a back and forth conversation, it's a deep, intentional communication practice. Listening partner's job is to understand what's being shared with them and understand it deeply. At the end, the listening partner doesn't share their thoughts, doesn't give advice, doesn't comment, they simply say "Thank you"- creating a safe space for the speaking partner to share vulnerably, without a fear of judgment. Then we switch. The speaking partner now answers the same question, but they don't reply to what was just shared, they share their own truth in this moment. The goals is to be heard, understood, gotten.

Please read the blog about Dyads, as it's not possible to explain the depth and the beauty and the power of this practice in one paragraph.

So on January 14th 2021 I posted one of my favourite dyad questions "Tell me something about you that others don’t get." and then I just didn't stop, posting 51 question, 51 Thursdays in a row. This was really fun and I deeply appreciate all the people who answered and shared something vulnerable and real about themselves.

I was touched, I wanted to hug them, I celebrated with them and grieved with them. And I loved them. And all I was allowed to say in response was "Thank you'. The rules are the rules.

It's been 3 years, I miss this practice, and I wanted to share so you can use the questions with your friends or your partner. You can pick and choose, you can go through the questions in order, you can create your own. Most importantly, have FUN, and connect deeply with yourself and others.

3 most popular dyad questions were:

- Tell me one of your purposes in life.

- Tell me about something you used to do when you were young that was really really fun for you.

- and Tell me what love is.

Here are all the questions from 2021:

1 Jan 14 - Tell me something about you that others don’t get.

2 Jan 21 - Tell me something you need.

Tell me something you want.

(you ask these question multiple times, going back and forth)

3 Jan 28 - Tell me how it feels to be you, here and now.

4 Feb 4 - Tell me about something that brings you joy.

5 Feb 11 - Tell me something you love about yourself.

6 Feb 19 - Tell me something you want to celebrate about yourself.

- How can you celebrate it?

7 Feb 26 - Tell me about an experience that has changed your life.

8 March - Tell me one of your purposes in life.

9 March 11 - Tell me about a feeling you find uncomfortable expressing.

10 March 18 - Tell me a goal you have for this year.

11 March 25 - Tell me what you feel you have to be responsible for that is not your responsibility.

12 April 1 - Tell me about something that excites you.

13 April 8 - Tell me one of your heart's deepest longings.

14 April 15 - Tell me about a core inner conflict you have.

15 April 22 - Tell me something you think you should tell me.

16 April 29 - Tell me something you are grieving.

17 May 6 - Tell me something you’d like to learn.

18 May 13 - Tell me what's most important to you in your relationships.

19 May 20 - Tell me about something you used to do when you were young that was really really fun for you.

20 May 27 - Tell me a way you need to be loved.

21 June 3 - If you could speak to God, what would you say.

22 June 10 - Tell me something that you regret.

23 June 17 - Tell me, what is it you truly desire. (that one was inspired by "Lucifer")

24 June 24 - Tell me something you can trust.

- Tell me something you cannot trust.

25 July 1 - Tell me an outstanding ability of yours.

26 July 8 - Tell me something you are grateful for.

27 July 15 - Tell me what’s good in your life right now.

28 July 22 - Tell me about something you've done that you are really proud of.

29 July 29 - Tell me something you love about your family.

30 August 5 - Tell me about one of the biggest challenges or adversities you had to overcome in your life.

31 August 12 - Tell me who you are.

32 August 19 - Tell me what love is.

33 August 26 - Tell me something about you that you want others to know.

34 September 2 - Tell me what scares you.

35 September 9 - Tell me about someone who had a big impact on your life.

36 September 16 - Tell me what goals you have for the development of your relationship over the next 5 to 10 years.

37 September 23 - Tell me something that you are most looking forward to now.

38 September 30 - Tell me one thing about yourself you’d like to change.

39 October 7 - Tell me about your family tradition or a ritual that you love.

40 October 14 - Tell me the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?

41 October 21 - Tell me what makes you feel loved.

42 October 28 - Tell me the most daring thing you've ever done.

43 November 4 - Tell me about something /someone that brings you comfort.

44 November 11 - Tell me something you feel in your heart right now.

45 November 17 - If your body could talk to you, what would it say.

46 November 24 - Tell me your your most important values.

47 December 2 - What makes you feel most alive.

48 December 9 - Tell me about something you've been taking for granted.

49 December 16 - Tell me something you love about winter.

50 December 23 - Tell me some of your best memories from 2021.

51 December 30 - Tell me a dream you have for 2022.

If you are very familiar with Dyads, you might want to check out this post with a list of Dyad questions that are focused on intimacy and sexual connection with your partner. I wound't start there unless both you and your partner truly understand the spirit of this practice.

If you would like some help with it, as a Couples Counsellor and a Sex Therapist in Calgary and online, I'd be happy to help. Feel free to book your free consultation here. I'd be happy to answer your questions.